I’ve been meaning to talk about this topic for a while. A few months ago Tyler Oakley tweeted this:
Just the other day, Riley J. Dennis, made a video (it will be embedded at the bottom of this post if you want to watch it in its entirety) that said if you wouldn’t date a trans person that you’re discriminatory. She also said that you can control who you’re attracted to.
Anyhow, I thought this would be an interesting topic of discussion. I’m going to give you my take, and feel free to give me yours in the comment section.
I think both Riley and Tyler are wrong. Here’s why.
I think everyone does this. Everyone has sexual preferences. I’ve met people who only like to date tall guys, people who look at a person’s teeth first to make sure they’re intact, people who like overweight people and people who only like athletic types. They actively weed out possibilities with those preferences in mind, and I see nothing wrong with that.
As for Tyler, if I say men just aren’t my type, does that make me sexist?
No one has the right to tell me who I should have sex with.
Riley opens her video asking whether I’d date certain people. So before moving forward, I’ll answer those questions really quick.
Would you date someone who was:
- Trans – No
- Fat -Yes
- Black – Yes
- Disabled – Yes
Telling me that I have to be open to dating someone with a penis or else I’m some sort of ‘phobic’ is blatantly ridiculous to me. I’m not going to dislike someone based on whether they have a penis or not, how they choose to dress or whether they feel like a male or female, but when it comes down to having sex, I don’t want penis. Telling me that I must be willing to want penis makes me think you feel entitled to have sex with anyone, despite how they may feel.
People are complex. We like and dislike all sorts of things and thankfully there are all sorts of people out there who like the opposite of what I prefer in a partner. There are people who prefer Asian people and some who prefer white people. There are some who prefer large people and some who prefer small. Some who prefer blue eyes and some who prefer brown.
Also, science suggests that we are attracted to certain things (in general) for specific evolutionary reasons.
For example, facial symmetry can play a part:
However recent research suggests that there are universal agreements about beauty which hold true across all cultures and even throughout the animal kingdom.
Probably the most important is facial symmetry. Having a face which is equal on both sides is a biological advert which tells prospective partners that good genes will be found in this body.
And body size matters as well:
Women are unconsciously looking for a man who has a waist-to-hip ratio of 9:10 and are attracted to a partner with a big jaw, a broad chin, an imposing brow. The angle between their eyes and mouth, cheekbone prominence, and facial length all play a role as well as does facial hair. Most women prefer heavy stubble to either a beard of clean shaven. However men with full beards are viewed as better fathers.
The perfect man should also have body fat of around 12 per cent which is an important indicator of how well the immune system works.
Bottom line to me is that people don’t get to tell me or any other person who they should sleep with. Sex is a very complex thing and no one should be able to shame another simply because they have sexual preferences.
I think my favorite part of the Riley video was when she said that if you are attracted to penis or vagina, you’re basically objectifying them based on their genitals. She called this ‘genitalifying’.
I kid you not.
Anyhow, what are your thoughts? Are sexual preferences racist, discriminatory etc?
As always, thanks for reading.