36 Questions Women Have For Men – My Answers Part 1

There’s Buzzfeed video (I’ll include it at the bottom of this post) called 36 Questions Women Have For Men. 

I thought I’d give answering them a whirl.

1. How does it feel to be the same sex as Donald Trump?

I’m also the same sex as Albert Einstein and Leonardo da Vinci.

Not sure what your point is. Imagine if I asked you how it felt to be the same sex as Karla Homolka or Elizabeth Bathory.

2. Why do you hate rom coms?

I don’t. I actually like quite a few of them. I’ve watched Jerry Maguire more times than I’d like to admit and The Notebook makes me choke up.

I do think they’re often unrealistic, but I enjoy quite a few of them.

3. Why do you make women sit around and talk about men in movies when you all will easily sit around and talk about boobs for hours?

I’m guessing because some women like watching women in movies talk about their good looking costars.

Guys don’t sit around for hours talking about boobs any more than women sit around and talk about ripped abs for hours.

4. Why do you automatically assume that you won’t like TV shows or movies that star a female lead?

I don’t care if the lead is male or female. I just finished watching the first season of Jessica Jones and absolutely loved it. There are a lot of movies I like that have female leads. All I care about is whether the movie or show is entertaining.

5. Why are you surprised when women are funny?

I’m not. Some of the women I’ve known throughout my life have been some of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. There are a ton of female stand-up comics that I find hilarious, such as Ellen DeGeneres.

6. Why do you think we’re obsessed with you when we hook up?

Personally, I don’t. If the relationship is new and you’re not interested, I’ll move on. I’m not going to beg you to be with me.

7. Why can’t I sleep with as many people as I want without being judged? When men do it, they’re congratulated.

Because it’s a shitty societal expectation. I’m with you on this one – I think we are far too uptight about sex and there shouldn’t be a double standard. I do think this is changing slowly.

8. Why do you consider a woman a tease if she doesn’t sleep with you after three dates, but a slut if she sleeps with you on the first date?

I don’t. I think they can have sex whenever they want. I think individuals have different wants and needs. There are women who (hypothetically) if I didn’t have sex with them or at least show interest in having sex with them after three dates, would question whether I was really interested in them. Maybe they walk away, maybe they question me or maybe they just wait it out.

9. In what world does no mean yes?

None. Believe it or not, the vast, vast, vast majority of men aren’t rapists.

Hard to believe, right?

10. Why do you say women are too emotional to be leaders then justify catcalling by saying that men can’t control themselves?

I don’t think women are too emotional to be leaders. My bosses are all women, except one. They do a terrific job.

I also think men can control themselves. I’ve never heard a man that I’ve known say otherwise. To say men can’t control themselves is insulting. I’m not an animal incapable of self-control.

11. Why do you think that just because you’re nice to me, I owe you my body?

I don’t. That’s a stupid question. I’m nice to women all the time, just as I am to men. I don’t think any of them owe me their body. How ridiculous.

12. Why would you ever send an unsolicited dick pic?

Okay, I agree with this one. If you’re a guy, why do you do this? It’s stupid and isn’t likely to attract a woman.

There is an option though. You can block and delete them. Depending on the circumstances, you can also report them.

13. Why do you think its okay to harass women or make offensive comments about women, but when someone does it to your sister it’s not okay?

Why do some women think it’s okay to call men ‘little bitches‘ because they were suffering severe side-effects after testing male birth control?

I don’t think harassing anyone is okay, whether they’re male or female. I find it hard to believe you don’t understand why humans might be more apt to protect people in their immediate family over a complete stranger though.

I’ve known plenty of people who were ‘big sisters’ and a good percentage of them were protective of their brothers, but they might not bat an eye if another boy they didn’t know was being picked on.

You can find part two by following this link.

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Answering The Criticism On My Feminism Post: Part 1

My last post saw a number of interesting comments and I wanted to take a second to answer them. You can read the comments and the original post by following the link if you’re interested.

Thank you to those who were willing to share their opinions, and I sincerely appreciate it.

Let’s get started.

I wanted to begin with a comment from Tildeb. Tildeb thought that there is a very patriarchal system at play, and so I asked them to point me towards systemic patriarchy by saying this:

“point me towards systemic patriarchy – one that is systemic in the West. I can think of only one and that’s maternity leave in the US. Other Western countries have maternity leave but that could be argued to be a systemic oppression of women rooted in the system of laws.”

Instead of pointing me towards a systemic law (I still don’t think one exists and women in the West are treated equally with men by law) they decided to go with the feminist talking point about ‘fear sexual assault’.

Then they asked me a series of questions, which I’ll answer here.

Put another way, would men tolerate a sexual predator environment and all its avenues of maintaining it if they were the prey? Would men tolerate so many judges blaming them for ‘enticing’ sexual assault or would they demand that the law against such assaults be systemically enforced?

I’m not sure where this sexual predator environment exists. What are these avenues maintaining it?

No, men would not stand for judges blaming them for being sexually assaulted, but there are bad judges out there and you can find a slew of specific cases where you could legitimately argue that the judge was a knucklehead and gave a light sentence or berated the victim.

And guess what, judges can also face trial for blaming women who are victims of rape.

This isn’t new and yes, I think our justice system has to be reformed in places. But that’s not as much a feminist issue as an issue with our justice system as a whole.

And yes, I think stiffer sentences should be carried out for sexual assault.

I don’t think so. But check it out for yourself: ask a woman how she feels walking down a street, any street any time of day. Now ask a man. Those two answers are worlds apart.

Okay, I did.

Both said you should take reasonable precautions, which is the same answer I would give and all of us felt reasonably safe walking at any time, although less so depending on where we would be walking at what time.

Do you think about sexual assault every time you get dressed or undressed?

No, and neither did the two women I asked. If you’re thinking about being assaulted every time you get dressed or undressed, I think that’s unhealthy.

Does the horror genre kill of men every time they have sex in the plot?

Every time a woman has sex, they get killed in a horror movie? I don’t think so. How did Sidney make it through four Scream movies?

In fact:

After having sex, Sidney and Billy are attacked by the killer, who seemingly murders Billy. Sidney escapes the killer and seeks help from Kenny, but he gets his throat slit by the killer. Sidney again flees

Looks like a whole bunch of guys get killed. Misandry!

I think you’re reading too much into this. Not everything is a feminist conspiracy.

Do you automatically evaluate all others on their potential of assaulting you in a sexual nature – at home when you answer the door, at work when you enter a room, at a restaurant or theater or store?

No. And neither did the two women. That sounds paranoid.

Do you try to park your car according to your (not your car’s) physical security, choose your exercise paths running or biking based on staying in sight of others in public places…

No. But like any responsible adult, I take precautions for my own safety. Sometimes I take risks and I know there are bad people out there who would like to hurt me, but I’m not going to let them dictate how I live my life.

The women I asked said they are not victims and do not like being treated like children. Both walk home late at night sometimes. Both said people should beware when travelling through certain stretches of the city late at night. Both said they don’t believe in the patriarchy.

I have another coworker who told me about how their brother in law was walking home the other day. Someone stopped their car on the side of the road (a complete stranger) and clothes-lined him. He fell and hit his head off the sidewalk and suffered a brain aneurysm.

There are bad people out there who want to hurt people for no reason. Being a man doesn’t exempt you from that.

Are you whistled at most times you walk down a street, accosted by cat calls on a hot day if you’re wearing something ‘revealing’

No. But in my experience, women are more subtle about it. They still talk about men. They still comment on our looks etc. They just don’t publicize it on the street very often.

women asking you for sexual access most time you venture into public

So women walk down the street and strangers just walk up to them and demand sexual access? Huh?

Please tell me where you live so I can avoid that part of the world.

women you don’t know and in public places inappropriately touching you, invading your personal space in sexually suggestive ways, inappropriately reminding you that you are a male and worth their unwanted sexual attention… and then insulted if you demur?

Yes. I’ve had all those things happen to me. I’ve been insulted for saying no. I’ve been shamed for saying I’m not in the mood.

I was once at a party and got severely intoxicated. I fell asleep on a bed. When I woke up a woman had my penis in her hand and she was playing with it. I told her to stop, and she kept trying. I finally got up and stumbled to the living-room. She told her friends and they followed me calling me names, as if I should be the one ashamed.

I could tell you more stories but I think that suffice.

Have more than half of your male friends been sexually assaulted?

I don’t know. I don’t poll them and we don’t talk about it. None of them know about that party story either. I do know of one friend who passed out at a party and woke up with a condom on.

Do other men give you advice on avoiding attracting the ‘wrong’ kind of aggressive female? Do other men criticize your hair and makeup for its effect on women?

Yes. Dating advice is hardly new territory.

Yes, people criticize what a man wears or how his hair looks etc. Of course they do. As well as weight, whether they smoke, how active they are, how smart they are etc.

Are you looking for a utopia where no one ever does or says anything dickish?

You – like most men – knwo very little about what it’s like to be immersed in such a sexualized world every moment of every day of your life where you are held equally accountable by laws that supposedly ‘protect’ you for the unwanted sexual attention and actions of others as you are criticized for not being attractive enough, not doing more to make yourself both more and less attractive all the time, shown in every media why you are a sexual person first and everything else after.

Yes. We live in a sexual world. Men experience this as well. Men movie stars tend to be attractive. Men models are attractive. Both men and women are told they should be attractive. That’s not likely to change in the future. Like it or not, we are a sexual animal and we are drawn to traits we find attractive and both sexes generally want to attract the attention of the opposite sex.

Go on any dating site, for example, and you’ll find loads of women with very precise figures for what they want in a man. Everything from their job, their education to their weight and size.

This is not your world. But it is one small part of the patriarchy world, a world that exists and from which you are privileged simply by the nature of your gender not to have to live in.

Well, I do not feel privileged and I think you’ve bought into a semi-religious cult that has no real direction now that it has achieved its initial goals. Instead of criticizing actual abuse against women, they often attack video games and movies. When questioned, they go on about this patriarchy and privilege and so forth, but generally offer very little of substance besides buzzwords.

Yes, we face problems and our system isn’t perfect. Yes, there are issues to be addressed but I see no reason to believe that feminism is the right mechanism to get it done, because as Ruth pointed out in my first post, feminism doesn’t take into account 50% of the population. They are only interested in women and women’s issues.

My point is that now that we have men and women on equal standing as far as laws go, let’s get to work on all of those issues together.

Fuck looking at whether someone is a male or female to decide whether they matter or not.

If sexual assault is an issue (and it is) then let’s reform the system so that everyone benefits. Not everything is patriarchy, and not everything is due to men being violent assholes.

So there’s my answers to your questions. I hope there are no hard feelings. I just wanted to thoroughly answer your comment and felt this was the best format to do so.

Next post I’ll address  The Arbourist’s comment.

As always, thank you for reading and feel free to leave your thoughts below.

Closing In On 700 Subscribers and More : Can I Be The Next 700 Club?

I’m currently working on a (possibly very) controversial post about whether African Americans can be racist.

I recently was told that ‘black people and other minorites’ can not be racist, even though they are capable of prejudice.

Being the skeptic that I am, I’ve been reading up on this thought and to my surprise, it’s fairly common.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have that post typed up. But if you have any initial thoughts to that premise or information (like links etc) you would like to pass on to me, please feel free to post them in the comment section below.

In the meantime, like the calm before the storm, I’m going to hit you up with some cute as shit pictures of my baby, Dexter.

Oh, and we are closing in on 700 subscribers. I believe we are at 697 at the time of this writing.

Thanks to all of you who read this blog. You guys and gals rock!

Another Example Of Why Beliefs Matter

CowHAI often hear the excuse that beliefs don’t matter and have no impact on a persons behavior. This reason is usually  given in defense of religion, even after religion was specifically mentioned as a reason or motive for unsavory behavior.

So let’s move away from the religions most represented here in North America and concentrate on the Hindu religion.

According to Wiki:

To the Hindu, the cow represents all other creatures. Hindus believe that all living creatures are sacred—mammals, fishes, birds. The cow is more, a symbol of the Earth. It always gives and feeds, representing life and the support of life. Honoring the cow inspires in people the virtues of gentleness and connects them with nature.

What could possibly go wrong? Why would you try to rob people of the fuzzy feelings they experience when considering the great cow? What could be the harm?

Turns out that the harm can be considerable. For example, they could make you eat cow dung for transporting cow meat in India. Afterward, you might get arrested as well.

New Delhi, June 28: Gau Rakshak Dal, a self-proclaimed cow protection group in Haryana, beaten two Muslim men who were allegedly transporting beef and forced them to eat cow dung. The incident came to light when the video of the incident surfaced on social media. Dharmendra Yadav, president of the Gurgaon Gau Rakshak Dal, admitted that activist of his group caught two Muslim men on June 10 and forced them to eat “panchgavya” (cow dung concoction).

In the news article, you’ll also notice that the two men were severely beaten.

The two men were then arrested and the police mysteriously couldn’t find the video of the incident. It later surfaced on social media.

You might be thinking that’s horrible, but those two got off relatively lightly. You can get beaten by a mob for over a half an hour:

Two Muslim women were beaten up over allegations of beef possession by a crowd lead by cow vigilantes at Mandsaur railway station in Madhya Pradesh on Tuesday, reported CNN-News18.

Surprising to no one, the police just stood by and basically watched:

But even after they were arrested, the women were thrashed by the mob for nearly half an hour before police finally took them away. Deccan Chronicle reported that many other spectators stood silently, but nobody came to the women’s aid.

Like the two men forced to eat cow dung, these women were arrested and further punished, while the police and mob were let off free as birds.

Now, this might be considered the worst of the worst, but it can get even nastier.

Last month, a 50-year-old man in northern Uttar Pradesh was killed in a mob lynching over rumours that his family had been storing and consuming beef at home. Even as Prime Minister Narendra Modi broke his silence over the killingnearly two weeks later, members of his party thrashed an independent lawmaker in Kashmir for hosting a beef party.

Earlier this month, Hindus and Muslims clashed over rumours, again, of cow slaughter in Uttar Pradesh. A row over banning beef is threatening to stoke religious tensions in restive Kashmir.

So you can be lynched for consuming beef or even just storing it (allegedly).

Beliefs can (and often do) translate into unreasonable behavior. Whether that means burning people at the stake, gutting them for witchcraft, lynching people for eating cow meat or blowing people up because they think it secures themselves a place in heaven, it all falls under the heading of superstition and unreasonable belief.

And of course, you can make the same arguments for Hinduism as you can for, say, Christianity. Of course not all Hindu’s are beating women up for allegedly transporting beef. Many Hindu’s would be upset by such behavior etc.

Hell, you could even make the case that what these people did is directly opposed to Hinduism, because they aren’t revering life by killing, maiming and beating, and that’s what the cow supposedly represents – all life.

But that doesn’t mean the Hindu belief structure (and/or the traditional cultural belief) had nothing to do with these incidences or that these types of erroneous, archaic beliefs played no role in what happened in these news stories.

Isn’t it time we start basing beliefs on evidence, rather than superstition and ‘tradition’?

The PC Police

pc policeWe’re getting back into this down and dirty, people.

One thing that has been annoying me for some time is the PC police. They have become more and more powerful in our society, despite the fact that most people I’ve ever talked to will say they dislike or even hate PCism.

If that’s the case, how did they become so flipping powerful?

Shame. That’s what they wield. Public shaming. You see this in loads on Twitter.

For example:

  • You disagree with feminism or specific feminists? Oh…well then you must be a sexist pig. You misogynist!
  • What? You disagree with the doctrine of Islam? You’re a racist! You Islamophobe!
  • There’s something you don’t agree with in the Black Lives Matter movement? You’re clearly a racist!
  • You don’t agree with all of the Israeli policies? You’re an anti-Semite!

And so on.

Instead of actually posting arguments that refute their arguments, the PC police will immediately jump to the shame and ridicule card.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think you can definitely be a racist and against something like the BLM movement or Islam, but that isn’t always the case. For some people, their racism is the root of their dislike or disagreement with those movements, causes, politics or religion and in those cases, it’s absolutely justified to call them racist.

But that isn’t always the case and many people jump to the race card way, way, WAY too fast.

Hell, atheists fall into this trap. I’ve seen them criticize Christianity in one breath, and then call someone a racist when someone criticizes Islam as a belief system with their next breath.

The ironic thing about this is often that they’re being inadvertently racist because they’re assuming all people of one particular race or color has to be part of that religion. People of all races, colors and cultures can be a Muslim.

Why Is This Dangerous?

The PC police are dangerous because they stifle open and honest discussion. They shut down conversation by accusing someone of racism or some other ‘ism’ and shame them into silence.

Not with good, solid counter-arguments, but with shame.

And this PC disease goes even further. It now has begun to infect Universities and places of higher learning.

For example, DePaul University recently banned Ben Shapiro from speaking.

Bob Janis, Vice President of Facilities Operations at DePaul, in an email to the DePaul YAF chapter’s executive board, said, “Given the experiences and security concerns that some other schools have had with Ben Shapiro speaking on their campuses, DePaul cannot agree to allow him to speak on our campus at this time.”

The experiences…and security concerns?

You mean because people don’t agree with him?

If his message is so wrong and ill informed, what could be the harm in letting him speak? Isn’t that what people go to school for – to expose themselves to competing ideas? When did it become a crime to say something that others don’t agree with?

Shapiro had this to say:

Regarding DePaul’s ban, Shapiro asserted, “It’s both pathetic and predictable that the University is happy to grant a veto on speakers to snowflake leftists so long as the leftists threaten violence. This is how free speech dies: when people in power cave to the bullies rather than standing up for basic rights.”

Despite the obnoxious ‘snowflake’ remark and my disagreement with about 90% of what Shapiro usually says, I think he’s spot on with this remark.

He should absolutely be allowed to speak.

I’m in favor of free speech. I want people to be able to talk openly and honestly about subjects and not have to worry about being publicly shamed into silence.

Given the opportunity, the best arguments will rise to the top. I firmly believe that.

Getting Back To The Things That Bring Me Joy

 

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My daughter trying to snap pictures of me while I resist. It was nice to see her smile.

It very much seems like I took a year long sabbatical from life. I just went through the motions and left behind many of the things that had previously brought me joy.

I stopped anything I was doing on social media. I stopped blogging. I stopped working on my YouTube channel.

Yesterday I received an email from a follower of my YouTube channel that asked me to come back. It filled me with a kind of wonder that someone (a stranger) would take the time to write me and tell me that my channel brought them happiness.

While I still read periodically, for that year I didn’t devour books at a ferocious pace like I usually do.

I worked. I slept. I read a little. I looked after Dex and tried to find my place in the world.

After receiving that email, I decided to get back to YT. I’ve already begun working on this blog again.Now it’s time to get back to working on my channel as well, so I went and got a video editing software that will help me do that. I’m currently watching tutorials that will help me navigate the software.

My partner thinks I’m crazy watching boring tutorials and ‘arguing with people online’ but those are things that make me happy.

Slowly but surely I seem to be coming awake again and doing the things that brought me joy.

Thank you to those who have stuck with this blog. It’s nice to see your comments once again.

Loving Your Readers – Even The Ones That Disagree With You

In my last post, ‘When Do You Call It Quits in a Relationship‘, I took quite a bit of flak from a few readers.

One reader (you can view all the comments by following the link above) said, “Actually, I didn’t know if I could be quite this blunt with GC, since I haven’t commented that much over here.”

This made me feel good. It’s what I strive for with this blog. I want this to be a safe haven for people to voice their views. I’m all about free-speech and do not censor people for voicing opinions different from my own.

If you disagree with my post, feel free to say so.

Does my post anger you?

Tell me why.

I want people to feel comfortable enough to blast me when they think I’m wrong.

I can take it.

And I feel the same way about the comment section. I don’t delete people who say things I disagree with or disallow their comment because it might hurt my feelings. I want people to debate and share ideas. Some people even say things that I find utterly ridiculous, but their comment will still show up in my comment section because I feel they have a right to be heard.

Another reader said, “Sorry for the semi harsh”.

No need to be sorry! Lots of people say that they have thick skin and don’t get offended easily, but then get offended at the first sign of disagreement. I assure you, I am not one of those people. I’m fully capable of being wrong or of being a schmuck and in an attempt to be fully honest on this blog, I throw it out there for people to read.

A place to share uncensored ideas is what I have always envisioned for this blog. I don’t want people to be sorry for taking the time to read my stuff and sharing their own honest opinion.

You are the readers I value most.

So thank you all for reading and having the courage to write what you think and feel. I applaud each and every one of you.

This blog exists and brings me joy because of you.