I watched a video earlier about the 200 (or so) people who left an Amy Shumer show after she made jokes about Trump.
To be honest, I wasn’t impressed by the jokes or the fact that she called an audience member up on stage just to mock him because he said he wouldn’t vote for Hilary. However, that’s neither here nor there, since going to a comedy show often results in embarrassment for someone in the crowd.
I don’t really care that she used her free speech to politicize her comedy routine or that people used their feet to protest by leaving the show.
What I really took issue with is the person in the video (you can find the video at the end of this post) saying that Amy Shumer was a hypocrite because as a feminist, she had admitted to sexually assaulting a man who was drunk when she was in college, and because she was a woman and not a man, she had gotten away with it.
Being the skeptic that I am, I did some research to see if this claim was true. I tracked down the interview and sure enough, she doesn’t admit to sexually assaulting anyone.
At least in my opinion.
Basically, the first part of her speech centers around how she felt inadequate and starved for the attention of a man. She likes this guy, Matt, who reciprocates somewhat, and one day he calls and invites her over. She goes over to his room, only to find that he’s drunk.
You can read the entire speech by following this link:
Finally, the door opens. It’s Matt, but not really. He’s there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can’t focus on me. He’s actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. “Hey!” he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He’s fucking wasted.
This is where the charge of sexual assault begins. The idea is that because he was drunk and unable to consent, she raped him. But if you read the rest of the interview, this isn’t the case. She spends most of her time wanting to be somewhere else, and at no point does she say she was doing something to him without his consent.
We tried kissing. His 9 a.m. shadow was scratching my face — I knew it’d look like I had fruit-punch mouth for days after. His alcohol-swollen mouth, I felt like I was being tongued by someone who had just been given Novocain. I felt faceless, and nameless. I was just a warm body, and I was freezing cold. His fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand? So he was pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate.
As you can see, Matt is the one doing the touching and trying to push his flaccid penis inside of her. She was trying to distract herself from the unpleasantness of the situation.
He started to go down on me. That’s ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal? Chelsea? Is it? Yes? It is. I want to scream for myself, “Get out of here, Amy. You are beautiful, you are smart, and worth more than this. This is not where you stay.”
Again, Matt is doing the touching. She’s just laying there.
At this point in the story, Matt falls asleep and Amy is still awake. She doesn’t like the music that’s playing so she jostles him awake and asks him to change the music. He crawls along the floor and changes the CD. He then resumes his inept attempt at sex.
I could feel I was losing myself to this girl in this bed. He stood up and put a new CD on. “Darling, you send me, I know you send me, honest, you do …” I’m thinking, “What is this?” He crawled back into bed, and tried to mash at this point his third ball into my vagina. On his fourth thrust, he gave up and fell asleep on my breast. His head was heavy and his breath was so sour, I had to turn my head so my eyes didn’t water.
That hardly sounds like she was sexually assaulting him. After reading the entire speech, I couldn’t for the life of me see how any of this could be construed as her sexually assaulting Matt.
It wasn’t as if he passed out and she pushed his penis inside her. It wasn’t like she was groping him while he was unable to consent.
He was the one initiating. In fact, at no point did she describe herself initiating anything as far as I can tell. Going to his dorm room isn’t initiating sex and it certainly doesn’t constitute sexual assault or rape.
What do you think? Do you think Amy admitted to sexual assault?
Personally, I just don’t see it.
Go to the 2:50 mark to hear the sexual assault allegation made against Amy Shumer