So something a little embarrassing happened the other day.
I’m man enough to own up to it.
Okay, so it was a dark and stormy night.
It wasn’t actually storming but it was about 2 am in the morning. I was playing Neverwinter furiously on my PS4 and doing battle with a big bad boss. I was toe to toe with a gigantic looking Viking guy; each of us swinging our swords but only one of us could come out alive.
Sweat beaded my forehead as the big bad seemed to take the advantage, but then I used my smiting ability to knock him back to next week.
I kept seeing this dark shadow at the corner of my vision. At the time I thought it was an annoying moth, but the video game boss took all of my attention. I had no time for crazy insects. When I was done I’d deal with the aerial menace.
The boss fell. I put down the controller satisfied I was a genuine bad-ass.
Now where was that freaking moth?
I looked around and saw a ginormous (ginormous is a word now so deal with it) freaking bird! It was circling and clearly looking for a midnight snack. It took me but a moment to leap up from the couch and run to the bedroom where my gorgeous lady was fast asleep. I burst into the room yelling that there was a bird invader in our house.
It took a moment for her to comprehend what I was saying. The two guard dogs (one Retriever and one Chihuahua) jumped to our defense. They began barking madly – teeth bared they charged into the living room where battle was joined.
We charged into the living room behind our ferocious beasts and grabbed them about the collars. We dragged them, spittle flying menacingly, into the bedroom and certain safety.
In those few moments we both realized that it wasn’t a bird that had invaded our domicile…but a man-eating bat.
My courageous lady grabbed a towel from behind the bedroom door and began to resolutely march out to do battle. I followed behind. As we reached the door she put her arm out to the side halting my progress.
“You stay here with the dogs, Baby. Keep them safe”, she said.
A tear fell from the corner of my eye and traced its way down my cheek. I feared I’d never see her again but I knew my duty. I went to the bed and called the dogs.
We sat huddled together on the bed.
We could hear the small grunts, squeaks and heroic ‘ohhs’ coming from the living room, where my battle princess was doing her best to rid our home of the man-eating bat.
Five minutes later, she returned. Her hair in disarray. Her face flushed from exertion. The towel nowhere to be seen. She announced that the bat had been vanquished to the great outdoors.
Instead of trying to capture the great beast, she realized that if she held the door open, it would fly outside.
That’s my Baby. Not just beautiful but damn smart too.
I have since begun to train in the bat-tle arena. The next time a bat invades, they will not find the same man again.
Um, yes it will. I guess I’m lucky to have my lady and two fearless battle dogs.