In my online dating adventures, I’ve had to read a ton of profiles. Most say the same things – the person is cute, funny, honest and is looking for someone who is the same. Since everyone says the same things about themselves, you’d think it would be a simple matter to find someone of like mind.
However, a lot of the profiles ask for a ‘manly man’.
I have no idea what the hell that even means. Do they mean the 50’s guy? Do they mean the mechanically inclined dude? Or the guy who doesn’t show any emotion because it might make him look like a pansy?
So because I don’t like tearing apart cars and stuff, does that make me less ‘manly’? And who comes up with the standard of what’s considered manly and what isn’t?
There are a ton of articles and blog posts about stereotyping women. I read one recently about how people shouldn’t use pet names if they don’t know you because it implies misogyny.
Now, in certain circumstances I’d agree. I saw a well-to-do guy say to a secretary the other day that, ‘Honey, it’s just business’. He dripped condescension. You could tell by his body language and tone that he thought she was beneath him, and I think it a fair bet that had a lot to do with her being a woman. I doubt he would have been speaking that way had she been a man.
So I get that, but women can be just as guilty. Lots of women call me pet names in a non-condescending manner.
For example, I get called honey, dear, baby, love and all sorts of other names by women. They don’t know me from Adam, but it’s just a term and nothing to get bent out of shape about. I don’t care if they want to call me those things.
However, you can use those same terms using a tone that I would mind – same as a man can when addressing a woman.
Telling people you want a ‘manly man’ is both meaningless and forces a stereotype on men.
Instead of typing such drivel, why not tell people what you really want in a man. If you’re attracted to men who know a thing or two about mechanics, then by God say that.
Just say it! Stop beating around the bush and making us guess what it is you find manly.