Monster Energy Drinks Are The Work of Satan?

It seems not only God works in mysterious ways, but so does Satan.

According to one woman, Monster energy drinks are the work of Satan.

Her evidence (hold on to your britches…it’s about to get Satanic) is:

Beginning with breaks in the letter ‘M,’ the woman explains that it symbolizes the Hebrew letter vav — the sixth letter in the Hebrew alphabet — as she maintains that the three now-broken bars of the ‘m’ stand for 666, the Sign of the Beast. She later notes how this ties in with the drink’s advertising slogan: Unleash the beast.

Turning to the ‘o’ in the word ‘monster’ she draws attention to a cross piercing it and poses the question as to what Christ, as symbolized by the cross, has to do with an energy drink company. She then notes that the can has the letters ‘BFC’ at the base which she explains stands for “Big f*cking can,” while she draws attention to to size of the 24 fl. oz can

I know I’m convinced.

I’m certainly convinced that our species has a penchant for superstition and silliness.

If I were Satan, I would be rolling around in my fiery grave. Here I am putting in all this work to try and make humans follow their basic God-given instincts, and these people think I have to stoop to using energy drinks. God gets credit for the flashy miracles, plagues, drownings and angels, and here I am getting spit on like a second-rate charlatan.

Things sure have changed since the time of Job, when God and I could sit around and torture a poor righteous man, while sipping premium scotch.

She goes on with:

She goes on to state that the manufacturers are using the popularity of the highly-caffeinated drinks to enter into Christian homes.

“This is how clever Satan is. And how he gets into the Christan home, and a Christian’s life, and it breaks God’s heart,” she explains.

Now she speaks for the almighty as well. How does she know what breaks God’s heart> Does an invisible, supernatural being even have a heart? Does God not have the power to change anything? Is He really going to allow Monster Energy drinks to become his downfall!?

Stay tuned to find out.

Same God-time. Same Satanic channel.

Dumb Question: If Monster Energy is the work of Satan…why does she seem to own a case of it? Did Satan trick her into bringing him into yet another Christian household?

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20 Comments

  1. This seems like yet another scare tactic to try to control people. Didn’t you hear? EVERYTHING is evil, EVERYTHING is Satan’s work, and if you don’t change your ways you’re going the HELL.

    I personally don’t believe in hell. I’m a big believer that the mind is a powerful thing. It’s okay to have religion if it makes someone feel as if they have a purpose in life, and if it comforts them. What I’m not okay with is when other people try to force their beliefs on others. That goes for atheists as well. The other day I saw a man in the grocery store wearing one of those T-shirts that say “I am not ashamed of the gospel. It is the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes.” I immediately thought, what would people’s reaction be if someone were to wear a T-shit that said, “I am not ashamed to be a Pagan,” or “I am not ashamed to believe in Science, not God.” I could just imagine the disgusted look on people’s faces if they saw someone wearing a shirt like that.

    It’s really frustrating to me that these Christians waste so much time trying to convince people that everything is connected to the Devil. Okay, don’t wear your hair that like, don’t listen to that kind of music, don’t watch that kind of TV show or movie. It’s Satan’s work! Now it’s Don’t drink that energy drink, it’s evil! Give me a fucking break.

    • I wish more people wore those types of T-shirts, including the Christian ones. I’m all about open and honest dialogue.

      I find that religion is often about scare tactics. Don’t believe, go to a nasty place. Everything that we don’t like is of the devil. Don’t want to do as we say, then you’re going to be punished.

      Thanks for your comment. 🙂

      • It’s kind of interesting because when I lived in southern California, I saw a lot more T-shirts like that. It’s a lot more liberal down there. Now I live in central California where people seem to be pretty conservative, which definitely takes getting used to when you’re not used to it. I know some very nice, very lovely Christian people. I also know some who aren’t so nice, and are quite hypocritical. That bothers me a lot too.

  2. If you play any of the Rolling Stones records (the old vinyl type) backwards, you will hear Satan advertise the monster drink, and just about every other Bad Thing!

    Yes, really. Our pastor says so. So it MUST be TRUE.

    I tried to play my records backwards but if I turn the player upside down, the record falls off.

  3. I grew up listening to warnings like this. From Halloween to certain clothing brands to household products companies, you could argue anything is the work of SATAN (just imagine Dana Carvey’s Church Lady shouting that please).

    In fact, I think that would be a fun drinking game. Take a random item and link it to Satan within a certain number of steps. Loser has to do shots. And sell his or her soul.

  4. This brightened up my morning. I still think it’s a shame when Christians devote time and energy to things like this instead of getting out there and doing something kind/helpful/useful/Christian. It’s a mixed up world.

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